My Oasis

I am exhausted mentally and physically. I have no balance in my life. I am lonely. My family is 90 miles away through the week and I feel like I am million miles away.
 I am enjoying coffee at this very moment at the oasis of Joseph Beth. I some how escaped early today from my student status where we are expected to stay until someone tells us to go and we are expected not to complain about it.....just keep swimming, just keep swimming, what do we do, we swim, swim
An older gentleman just sat down, he is confused with his iPhone-he is amusing me--he has a full beard with stash that curls up ever so slightly all with a sports coat and hat.
The younger gentleman who served me my coffee is handsome and I can't figure out his story - why is he working here, he looks too old to be aspiring to work in a coffee shop. Oh well. Its nice to have distractions and this seems to be working for me. I already feel more relaxed.
 Today in OR I worked with a good crew, had a good precpeptor, had nice and wierd patient's. Overall a successful day for my student status. No bleeding lips, chipped teeth, destaturation, aspiration, death, only minor BP problems after induction-nothing new there. A hip, A knee, and a D&C with ablation Thats enough about that.
A red head enters the scene of my oasis wearing a hounds-tooth shaw and she is ordering.....something with syrup, oh she has been shopping at dillards, her shoulder bag is HUGE, of course she has her boots on-everyone does these days.
The indian kid sitting across from just blew his nose-in public-not something I like to see-ever.
Another older gentleman sitting across from has his laptop out, headphones on, and seems to texting-boring.
I really adore the older couple who are both enjoying coffee and having conversation-awe he picked up her empty to cup to throw it away for her as he smiles-that's love.
I should be more productive with my free time but this seems to be making me happy-who knew.

Take only what you need

Next please

After reading one of favorite people's blogs, I realized that I have lost the magic...since starting nurse anesthesia school, all I do is sit and study (which isn't paying off as much as I would like). I feel pretty useless, I don't have time to do what I used to do for my family. I stay stressed out, I miss my kids, I miss Jamie, I miss my family. I have not found a happy balance in my life yet but after reading Hilary's post I know I need to because I'm going to miss out on the little things. So how do I find this balance?? I have no idea but when I do I will tell you..until then I am going to "dance momma dance" (time permitting of course). When I am finished with school, I vow to dance momma dance EVERYDAY! My guess is that I may no have happy balance for the next 27 months but I will make sure I do after that!

Today I want to talk about  my grandparents, known to me as Nanny and Poppie. Kaetlin, when she 2 years old, referred to Poppie as "Poppie Eat" (his last name was Neat).  They have both passed on to the next life.  They were the sweetest grandparents! I loved going to stay overnight with them.  Nanny would fix me scrambled eggs and toast in the mornings and then I would beg for coffee and she always said "You won't grow if you drink too much coffee."  Maybe that's why I'm the shortest sister....And at some point during the day we would head off to Russell Springs, where I would ride on the arm rest in the front seat between my Nanny and Poppie (I hear that is frowned upon these days).  We would make a stop at Malonies where I would usually get some kind of little toy and then we stopped at Hardee's and my sweet grandparents sat in the kids corner with me and we ate our roast beef sandwiches.  They lived in a small, cozy house, a place where I always felt at home.   Nanny had such a sweet smile and a calming voice.  Poppie had blue eyes that danced when he smiled.  Poppie was a World War II veteran and Nanny waited on him to get home from the war so they could get married.  I remember celebrating their 50th anniversary :) They had 3 children. Michael, their second child died at 9 months of age from severe allergies.  They lived a simple, happy life.  They had so much love to give and when I think of them my heart smiles.  I miss them very much and I am eternally grateful for them.  I know that I am blessed for having them in my life. The picture above is the last time I saw my Nanny alive, she passed away about a month later.  I have such sweet memories of them both! I can still see my 80 some year old poppie chasing my cousin Madison around in the yard and Nanny seemed to always be cooking and insist you eat! Ok, that's all for now :)

Jamie:
You are my first blog post! You are the person I lean on, I laugh with, I learn with.  5+ years with you has gone by way too fast.  We have been to many great places, watched many wonderful things, had a beautiful baby boy together and our future is still wide open!  You are so caring and giving.  Watching you love your son is an image I will forever hold in my memory.  You make me laugh and all along the way you have made a better person.  Through our ups and downs I have learned that our love is something special.  I'm so thankful we met and that you asked me out over text message during Grey's Anatomy : )  You introduced me to California, good beer, airplanes, sunscreen, Pigeon Forge cabins, skiing, running....I always find comfort in holding your hand and I hope to be holding it forever.